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© copyright Howard Fox 2010
Tango classes are designed to prepare for the "milonga," the social dance event that is the core of Argentine tango culture. This article is meant as an orientation to social tango dancing. Thanks to Shari-Ann Peart and Pete Karabetis for their input on this project. Photos of DC area milongas by Jaime Montemayor.
How the music is programmed
At a milonga, songs are played in sets (tandas). Typically, a tanda will include three or four songs of one rhythm (tango, waltz or milonga) by a single orchestra. A typical order might go something like this: T-T-T-W-T-T-T-M, and so on throughout the evening. This pattern helps dancers to plan. For example, if a new tanda starts with tangos by an orchestra they really like, they can count on several songs by that orchestra. Or, if a set of milongas is playing, they can be pretty sure the next set will go back to tangos.
Separating each tanda from the next is a cortina (curtain)--a short snippet of unrelated music (jazz, blues, samba, etc.). This isn't meant for dancing, but for transition. It gives dancers time to leave the floor and find new partners for the next tanda.
Near the end of the milonga, you will often hear the DJ announce "Last tanda!", thus giving dancers warning that this is their last opportunity to dance. Then, after that tanda has finished, there is typically one final song: "La Cumparsita," the most famous tango.
Types of music
Most milongas feature predominantly music from tango's "golden age"--Argentine tango orchestras recorded from the late 1920s through the late 1950s. This is wonderful dance music, very nuanced and varied. It has stayed popular for a reason! Tango Mercurio has created a Golden Age Tango Starter Kit to help familiarize you with this music.
Other milongas are predominantly "alternative," featuring more contemporary music. Some of this newer music is Argentine, or influenced by tango style or instruments--and some of it is not related to tango at all, but selected because it has a rhythm suitable for one of the three tango genres (tango, vals or milonga). Even at a predominantly traditional milonga, the DJ may play one or more tandas of alternative music.
On the dance floor
Couples dancing at a milonga travel around the edge of the dance floor in a counterclockwise direction (line of dance). Where there are enough people, there may also be a second, inside lane--which also moves counterclockwise. You may also see couples dancing in the center of the floor--for example, because they are trying movements that use more space. It's best to avoid this practice, and to stick with the outer lanes.
Milongas are often crowded. To allow their fellow dancers to enjoy dancing while staying safe from harm (collisions, kicks, etc.), there are several things tangueros do. They move with the line of dance and don't step backwards against it. They choose one lane to dance in, and don't switch to another. They refrain from dangerous movements that project outward from the couple--like certain boleos and ganchos, for example. In general, they avoid big movements that take a lot of space, instead opting for smaller, more understated ones. They may favor a closer (and thus more compact) embrace to one that's more open.
Also, because the line of dance may progress quite slowly in a crowded room, dancers can't just rely on linear movements (such as straight walks or traveling ochos), because they'll quickly run out of space as they encounter the next couple ahead of them. Instead, they alternate linear movements (when space opens up ahead) with circular ones like turns (when the line of dance has momentarily stalled). In general, they help manage the space: when there's space ahead, they don't just stay in one spot doing a stationary pattern, but move forward to take up the available space--thus freeing up additional space for the couples behind. On the other hand, they don't "tailgate" by following the couple ahead too closely.
The bottom line here is to be aware of what's going on in the room, and considerate of your partner and the other couples. When the room is emptier (which even in popular milongas may be the case at the beginning and the end of the evening), you can try movements that wouldn't be safe or appropriate when it's more crowded.
Mindset
Perhaps the most important part of transitioning from tango classes to your first milongas is the least visible: your state of mind. A class is, first and foremost, a learning environment. You focus on the details of movement, and you stop and analyze--both on your own and with your partner and teacher--what's going well and what needs improvement. A milonga, by contrast, is a dance party. The primary goal is enjoyment, not learning (though of course you will learn a lot there).
So, when you enter a milonga, you bring whatever dancing abilities you have acquired up to that point--and you present them, without worry or apology, to your prospective partners. Instead of obsessing about the trees (whether individual movements were led and followed "correctly"), you shift focus to the forest: enhancing the overall dance experience by seeking a high-quality connection with your partner, and by immersing yourself in the music. You don't break the spell and stop dancing when there's a "mistake," and you don't discuss, instruct, or request instruction. That's what classes are for. And don't apologize for your level of dancing! You need to believe in yourself if you want your partner to believe in you.
Interestingly, by shifting focus to the big picture, not only will you enjoy yourself more, but your individual movements will improve too. And even though the direct focus of a milonga is on enjoyment rather than learning, you'll come away with some great ideas about what you need to work on at your next class. Approached right, milongas and classes complement each other beautifully.
Invitations to dance
There's no magic about inviting one another to dance at a milonga. It's just another human interaction. There are some customs, but in the end your best guide is common sense. You need to take care of yourself and your own safety and enjoyment, while also respecting those around you--including dance partners, would-be partners, and other couples.
A milonga is a social event--like a party. So, be social and mingle. Talk to people, smile, enjoy yourself. This will put you in a frame of mind to dance your best, and will make the most favorable impression on potential partners.
How is the actual invitation made? In Argentina, a man traditionally invited a woman to dance by catching her eye from across the room, and nodding his head towards the dance floor. This "cabeceo" is sometimes used here, but mostly not. Instead, it's typical for a man to approach a woman and verbally ask for a dance ("Would you like to dance?"). Or, a woman may ask a man.
Once there's been an invitation and acceptance, the couple goes to the dance floor, being careful not to disrupt the people who are already dancing. The leader needs to find a gap in the dancing couples where he and his partner can enter. If the floor is really crowded, you need to be especially careful about how you enter the floor, so as to avoid a collision. Ideally, make eye contact with one of the leaders (much like a driver trying to merge onto a highway), and look for him to nod and pause to allow you and your partner to enter the line of dance ahead of him.
Once on the floor, the custom is to continue dancing the rest of the current set (tanda) with your partner. At the end of the tanda, the couple will typically say "thank you" to one another and leave the floor. But it's perfectly fine to dance another tanda or two (or as many as you'd like) with that partner if you're enjoying yourself.
While on the floor, it's OK to chat during the first few seconds of each song, but other than that, your entire attention should be focused on the music and the dance. Chatting gets in the way of that, and also disturbs other couples who are trying to concentrate.
Also, if you're not dancing, please don't hang around on the dance floor. The dancers need that space! Instead, move off the dance floor to do your watching and socializing.
Yes or No?
It's wise to be open-minded about dancing with a variety of partners. Meeting new people is fun and rewarding in itself. Also, everyone dances differently, so dancing with many partners will develop your dance skills faster than limiting yourself to one or a few. At the same time, it's important to keep in mind that dancing with another person is a privilege, not a right. It is your choice whether to extend or accept an invitation to dance. Over time, as they learn more about the dance, people do tend to develop preferences: favorite partners with whom they dance more, and others with whom they dance less or not at all.
Improving your odds of dancing
To improve your odds of dancing at a milonga, consideration for others is key. Be friendly and polite. Continue to work on your dancing, paying special attention to any habits that may make your partner uncomfortable (such as when the man leads too roughly or when the woman places too much weight on the man's shoulders) or that may create a risk of collisions (such as leading big movements, or taking steps larger than what has been led). Don't be overeager--for example, if you've been turned down, don't hang around that person waiting for another opportunity to ask. Instead, wait till another evening to try again. Pay attention to personal hygiene: shower; wash your hair; use deodorant, mouthwash, mints, etc.; refrain from strong perfumes. Try not to get too sweaty (sit out for a while now and then to cool off) and consider bringing a dry change of clothing just in case.
Men, when you approach a woman to invite her to dance, pay attention to the cues she's sending out. If she's sitting at the edge of the dance floor, appears to be enjoying the music, and isn't conversing with anyone, she might be a good prospect. But if she's unwilling to make eye contact with you; if she's immersed deeply in conversation; if she has sought out a chair at the back of the room, far from the dance floor; if she has taken her dance shoes off--your odds of a "yes" aren't as good. Women, you can use these ideas to encourage or discourage invitations.
If someone invites you to dance, and you want to decline, try to be as pleasant and polite as possible. Note that there are various wordings you can use to refuse politely--which one you use may depend on whether you want to keep open the possibility of dancing with that person in the future. For example, "no, thanks" is polite, but doesn't hold out as much hope for the future as "not right now, thanks." Whichever response you choose, it's best to refrain from statements that aren't true. If you tell him you're tired, it's not good form to then get up and start dancing the same song with someone else.
Two pointers for men in particular. First, be aware that tango is not a "meet market," and refrain from overly familiar or inappropriate conduct. Second, don't teach on the dance floor. A milonga is a place to enjoy, not to teach. If you want to work on your dancing, and discuss your progress with your partner, go to a class--or to a "practica," which is an event designed specially for practice. Women, if men engage in any of these no-no's with you, or if they do anything else that makes you uncomfortable (such as being inattentive to proper navigation and crashing you into other couples), you not only can but should refuse to put up with it. Say thank you and leave the dance floor.
Finally, while it's important to be attentive to proper etiquette and considerate behavior, don't let that effort obscure the key point that the milonga is a place to have fun. When the goal you're pursuing is worthwhile--and tango definitely is--there are bound to be some bumps along the road in getting there. The overall journey is still enjoyable and fulfilling. So don't obsess over the occasional rejection or unpleasant encounter. Most of the people you meet will be friendly and considerate, so move on and find them! If you keep at it, the future will always bring great new tango experiences. Enjoy!
About the Author
Howard Fox has been a devoted tango dancer since 1996, and has also spent countless hours exchanging views with other tangueros on the topics discussed in this article.